what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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