what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
