I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
