There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
