It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize