He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
