dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
