Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
jump out the window naked night went bad
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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