It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
