On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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