Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
