I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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