i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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