you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
