I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
