You work out of a Hotel?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize