forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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