I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
