she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
