In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
