wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
