Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
