that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
