i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
