I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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