I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
