I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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