They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
