well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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