I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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