I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
