i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
