Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
