I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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