Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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