I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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