We're facebook friends in real life
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
