And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
MIDGETS
????
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
