dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
