I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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