How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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