Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
