i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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