his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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