I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I want to fling myself into the sun
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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