Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
