i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
