I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
