Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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