My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
