Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
