I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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