Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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