hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
