he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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