Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
